Wondering what I should write about next, I felt into my self. Which topic especially is relevant to me and the collective right now. I don't know how you felt about this Full Moon in Aries 21 ... It really effected me. Some days before I woke up and just felt, after all I've been through, even though I had all I wanted, I was not satisfied. I was frustrated on all I was doing and doubt all I've done. I can't really explain it why, because I didn't understand it myself. I just felt bla. Do you know this feeling? Have you ever caught yourself in this space?
So I'm in my new home in the nowhere, called nature or countryside with endless possibilities and opportunities for my projects and visions and all I want to put out there. I should be thriving right? All I dreamed about and worked towards for such a time in order to live a healed life, I was disappointed about finding myself in this place again of being frustrated and not satisfied. + I was overwhelmed with my move and unpacking and at the same time caring about my business and "financing this life". My frustrations usually come when I am in my head judging myself instead of observing and surrendering deeply in to the moment. The moment I decide to live from my heart I get reminded there is no reason to doubt and be frustrated, really.
I punched my mattress (poor one) and screamed and shouted into my pillow. I released all the anxiety and anger into the ground and felt how deep I hid this pain away from me. Tears just flood down my cheeks and it felt like a cry when I was a baby. I am so grateful for knowing how much healing it is to:looking & feeling into it, owning & releasing it and letting it go.
I am a generator and for me it is all about satisfaction. My not self theme is frustration so I'm all good. What is your Human Design?
Researching about satisfaction and definitions and meanings and studies I wasn't really haha satisfied with what I found, so I try to define it for my self. I guess everyone should define it for them self. I believe Satisfaction is a state of being which goes hand in hand with acceptance of what is, and can't be changed anyway. Trusting that all is for our highest good, and being connected to our self. We are satisfied when we choose ourselves and situations we align with. We are satisfied when we are going after our hearts and souls desires. We are satisfied in saying yes and no to things when we mean it. We are satisfied, when we develop a mindful practice and sticking to it. Satisfaction can come with different senses like taste, smells, visuals and so on. Also it is possible to be satisfied with what we achieve. We become Satisfaction the moment we deeply understand that we have everything we need right now, that we are guided always if we allow ourselves to listen, that we are protected and safe. It is what it is and it will always be. I am immensely grateful for the life we are able to experience, all of us. Nothing comes to us which we can't handle.
I hope sharing my experience with you helps with yours.